Monday, December 16, 2013

Bah Humbug Decorates for Christmas

I am one of those people who do not like the holidays. The period from Thanksgiving to New Year's is my least favorite time of the year.

Why? so many people ask me. It's a wonderfully festive season, they say.  

You can't see if very well in this pic,
but hand-crocheted ornaments com-
pose the wreath. My sister made it.
Yeah, right. It's:
  • Stressful (I won't even quote the alcohol / suicide / depression rates)
  • Expensive (Lucy from Peanuts got it right. Christmas is run by some big East Coast syndicate)
  • Fattening (cookies and cakes and punch and food, food, food to paraphrase the Grinch)
  • Miserable (have you ever noticed how may 'sad' holiday specials there are?)
  • Deadly (the kill count on Black Friday grows every year)
I even know where my disdain for the holidays comes from. The 4.5 years I worked at Wal-Mart. Anyone would be crazy to still be in a festive mood after spending a holiday season or two in that madhouse. To this day, I avoid all retail stores as much as possible from the day after Thanksgiving through a week or so after January 1.

Now, I haven't always been this way. When my boys were little I made an effort to erect a tree each year and to have an abundance of presents beneath it.

I know the pic is blurry and a bit
crooked, but the destruction wrought
by my felines is clearly visible. 
About the time my sons became teenagers, decorating for the holidays stopped being important. I donated my tree, lights and ornaments to charity. The only ornaments I kept were the ones my sister had hand crocheted for my kids. A few years back, she turned them into a wreath that I occasionally hang over the fireplace; however, I haven't in a long time.

This year, I got a wild hair and dug the wreath out of storage. It looked pretty ... for about an hour. Then, the cats discovered it and attacked! I have no idea what attracted them. I had made sure none of the garland dangled from the mantel, or any of the colored lights flashed. Still, my felines honed in. The wreath and garland had to die. In a way, it was very symbolic of my feelings about this time of year. 

My sister calls me Scrooge, but I do not care. She loves the holidays and can have them. As for me, I just bide my time until I can rip the December page from my calendar and start anew.

Anyone else dislike the holidays?


  1. Hey dude - all my feels.

    My friend Joseph said something especially profound on this subject:

    "You know what's great about Halloween? It's the last completely optional holiday of the year. You can dress up. You can stay home. You can throw a big party. You can ignore the whole thing. You don't have to buy anything, do anything, or see anybody. It's the best!"

    (I suppose it's less optional when you have younger kids, but I appreciate the sentiment all the same.)

    Actually, I kind of wonder if Christmas wasn't a lot more naturally fun in the old days. It seems to me like a lot of the stress we get comes from travel, and financial strain, and from the constant barrage of treacle-y perfect Norman-Rockwell visions of what Christmas is "supposed" to be like. I think it would be a lot easier to enjoy if it was just you and your own local relations, taking a few days off of work and exchanging little homemade treasures.

    Sorry about the decorations, regardless. They looked so nice!

    1. Hey, Tex

      Your friend makes a valid comment about Halloween. Maybe that's why it remains my favorite holiday - it's completely optional.